is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
