you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
wow bdsm is so cute
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