Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize