he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
