just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
