Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Nicole vs. Life
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
