I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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