ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
