Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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