we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
