That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
