Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I think people are normalizing furries
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
