So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
