Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
