The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
