I think im going to throw up on grandma
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
