Do vagina's smell?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
