He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
