That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
