your room smells of hookers.
And success
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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