I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
