Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
