Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
