This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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