Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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