Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
