Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Randomize
