You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
MIDGETS
????
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
