i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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