Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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