I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
tell me about the fingering
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
