I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
