Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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