Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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