I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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