im gay
i know
yea but for you.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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