she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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