Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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