Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
