I think my vagina is haunted
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
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