somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
