if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
