She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
