is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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