literally had 100 drinks last night.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
