I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
