just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
