So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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