when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
