With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
as a side note pls kill me
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