Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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