She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
