Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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